Today I had the honour of joining a small community gathering, and I came home with a full stomach and an even fuller heart.
Thank you, Jenny, for the invitation. Jenny and I are both alumni of Capilano University, where we graduated from the Community Building program. We are also both supporters of the Neighbourhood Small Grants (NSG) program, run by the Association of Neighbourhood Houses and funded by the Vancouver Foundation and RCRG. The vision behind NSG is simple and powerful: fund small, local events that bring neighbours together for the greater good.
This time, Jenny was the organizer. She wanted to build community with people like herself, those whose mother tongue is not English. Her invitation was simple: come, eat, and sit around the table together.
The Weight Newcomers Carry
Anyone who has immigrated knows that the beginning is hard. A new language, new systems, and a new home that doesn’t yet feel like home. Many of us carry these burdens quietly, because speaking up in a second language feels like climbing a mountain.
At first our table talk was light. We shared what we love about Canada. We talked about our children. Then, little by little, the conversation deepened.
Two women shared that their marriages ended not long after they arrived in Canada, because of financial abuse and child abuse by their ex-husbands. One showed us photos. I won’t describe them, but I will say this: you feel that pain in your own body, and it is even harder to bear when it was done to little ones.
That was never the purpose of the gathering. Nobody planned to bring out these scars. But when people feel safe, the truth finds its way out.
Courage That Keeps Going
Bringing a problem into the open is not easy. It takes tremendous courage to say out loud what happened, and even more to keep going afterwards.
Women are strong. I admire these moms deeply: their courage, their big hearts, and their determination to carry on and look after their little ones. This is the love of a mother.
Their honesty showed me something else too. These women are not asking for pity. They are fighting to rebuild. And they are doing it while facing the marriage breakdown, their children’s wounds, and English as a second language, all at once. Their daily challenges may well be greater than most people realize.
Neighbours Become Companions
Something changed around that table. Strangers became listeners. Listeners became supporters. The women who spoke were met with warmth rather than judgment, and I believe they left knowing they are not alone.
That is the transformation community building makes possible. It doesn’t have to be a big program or a big budget. Sometimes it is a shared meal and an open seat.
Why Food Works
Food has a special power. It lowers our guard. When we share a meal, we don’t need perfect English or a formal introduction. We pass a dish, we taste something familiar, and we start telling stories. Food says “you belong here” before anyone speaks a word.
A table is one of the gentlest places to talk about hard things, because our hands are busy, our hearts are warmed, and no one feels put on the spot.
The Problem We Can’t Ignore
I don’t know whether what we heard today is just the tip of the iceberg. I suspect it is. Immigrant women dealing with domestic abuse, financial control, and the language barrier may be suffering in silence all around us.
What I do know is this: if we hold more small gatherings like this one, neighbours can become companions. And companions are exactly who these women need as they walk their long road to recovery.
How You Can Help
- Learn about the Neighbourhood Small Grants program and consider applying to host your own event.
- Invite a neighbour, especially a newcomer, to your table.
- Listen without judgment.
- If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please reach out to local support services. You are not alone.
Thank you again to Jenny, and to the brave women who shared. You reminded me why this work matters.
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